A Hippie Sermon

I stare out at the loudly roaring river from the tail gate of our new (to us), sort of beat up but nevertheless, gorgeous beast of a truck. With a little bat dog on my lap and smooshed right in between my 140 pound cuddly suck of a dog and my scruffy wonderful man, my mind starts to whirl like a washing machine on it's spin cycle. Was this truck selfish of us? These new shoes, do they make me selfish? There is so much poverty, starvation, death.. How do I justify 'stuff'?

Of course, Travis makes me feel better, "We need a truck to continue with the renos on our house. We need to do the renos to sell. We need to sell to downsize, to minimalize, to get back in touch with life." Okay fine, I'll give you that one.. But what about my shoes? Did I need these shoes? I wish I could say yes. Again, he lessens the guilt in my heart. He tells me, "You never buy shoes and you love shoes. And the shoes you really wanted, you refused to buy because they were $70 - which by the way Ash, is considered cheap."

I feel less guilt now but.. not no guilt. I don't how to reason sometimes. Do I reason with my contemporary, wealthy society? Or my globally compassionate, deep roots? I suck back a little herb of our earth and let the old time rock makes it way through my ears and into my brain. As mentioned several times in my previous ramblings now, I love music. I love music so much I think it's kind of amazing. I love most all art to the point of amazingness too, actually. Photography, painting, sketching, sculpting, dance, fashion, interior decorating.. LOVE. I don't want to lose those parts of myself, but at the same time, I don't want to invest my entire being and money into any of them as I'm an animal activist (which to me, includes the human race) first and foremost.

With the chaos of expensive Canadian cities flying in front of my eyes like a video stuck on fast forward, I feel as though I'm being engulfed by blindness. My spirituality, the morals that I'm so passionate about, it's like they're getting sat on by a big fat blob of unnecessary necessities. I really truly am not trying to aim dynamite at anyone with this next comment but I am so utterly sick of hearing about iPads and Ray Bans and all stupidly-priced, brand name blahblahblahs that will be outdated in no time.

What about a little less gawking through glass at all these 'gotta haves'?
And a little more than just glimpse at a photograph of the tragic oil spill?
Than just a skimming of an article on the polar bears that are starving because the ice is vanishing?
Have we talked about Haiti latley?
Or our sponsor children and sponsor dogs in their third world countries?

And while I'm questioning myself, ourselves - why are there third world countries?
Why are we always first?

I don't want to feel condemned and guilty about every purchase, every self-indulgence nor do I want you to feel that way. I also don't want to be exhausted from over-analyzing. But maybe sometimes, a few times, we should feel guilty and over-analyze. And because of my stupid new shoes, I am not letting myself buy new jeans too. Although I admit I'm down to just a couple pair, including one with a ripped crotch. Still, I hold strong.. I will just ensure to wear undies and cross my legs. :)

Real

Real isn't how you are made,

it's a thing that happens to you.

It doesn't happen at all once.

You become.

...

It takes a long time.

That's why it doesn't happen often

to those who break easily,

or have sharp edges,

or who have to be carefully kept.

...

Generally, by the time you are Real,

most of your hair has been loved off,

and your eyes drop out

and you get loose in the joints

and very shabby.

...

...

But these things don't matter at all,

because once you are Real

you can't be ugly

except to people who don't understand.

-The Velveteen Rabbit

Salina

It has been too long since my last blog post.. Oi, the stresses of life have taken me under latley. I've become so consumed with a never ending to-do list and some big time-pressured life decisions. Blah, overwhelmed. Blah, exhausted. And amidst it all, I've been thinking about what I really want in life and no matter what thinking route I take, I always come back to the same desires: rescuing dogs, exploring this earth and absorbing myself in photography.

I can't believe it's been 8 months. 8 months since I first decided I was going to get wrapped up in photo shoots. 8 months of trial and error, of learning and re-learning, all the while falling deeper in love with photography. I've always been a passionate and artistic person, so it's no wonder that I would love the art of photography. But recently, I've discovered a new passion within my own photography.. Chasing the emotions, the real character and hearts of the subjects in my images.

With trying to learn, I've been shooting anything and everything non-stop. With all this click-click-clicking, I'm realizing what I love to shoot. And that's pretty much everything. However, I la-LOVE to shoot authenticity. Just people, in their element, being naturally and imperfectly themselves. Dorky, crazy, quirky, in love, alive; to bottle all that realness up in a photograph is exactly what I want to do. So here I am, putting it in writing which means it's for reals - I'm ready to focus on lifestyle photography. More couples, families, babies, children, maternity, pets, all that good stuff. But don't completely rule out creative side projects from me either!

It's a whole new world (oh, Aladdin) but when isn't it?

Now, a blog post just isn't complete without some eye candy. Below is the very very adorable Salina, paddling around the lake in my girlfriend's backyard. Yep, that's right, backyard (SO jealous). I love everything about this shoot - the sunshine, the water, the playfulness (honestly, it was like we were goofing around), Salina's rockin' smile when I shout dirty words. We maybe could've done without the scary spiders but I'm sure the neighbours enjoyed hearing the girly screams.