i exist!

i don't know that i even need to formally say this, as i think it's a little obvious by looking at the overall lifelessness of my blog - that i've been on and am on a "break."  the photo on my header isn't even my current hair colour.  speaking of which, i look 12 there.  i'm older, i swear.  but anyways, i am still taking pictures.  lots of 'em!   and often!  but i'm not at all focused on getting clients + muses, or editing or sharing.  trav and i have chosen to travel down a fun but exhausting road.  we are completely absorbing ourselves in renovations via our own blood, sweaty-sweat-sweat and tears (did i mention the sweat?).  all in the hopes of moving in the next few months.  and just to add a little extra spice, we also decided to adopt  a new dog, pickles, whom we welcomed into our family about 2 weeks ago.  i won't dive into her and her story just yet cos she really deserves her own post, but for now i'll tell you that she was an incredibly tormented homeless dog and her journey to recovery here with us is definitely a windy, bumpy road.

but not being "focused" on pursuing my dream of becoming a photographer has been.. i'm not even sure, to be honest.  sometimes i feel frustrated, like i'm lagging behind, i feel lazy or angry at myself for not making it all happen.  but travis keeps bringing me back when i get like that.  he reminds me that i'll spread myself thin and not be great at anything.

one thing.  at.  a.  time.

..the more and more i think about it, deep down, i know he's right because i know i will be a photographer.  there's really no doubt in my mind.  that's a crazy thought.  at least coming from me.  (i am the most doubtful, worrisome, unconfident, indecisive person you'll ever know.. i think.)  

but i just feel that i'm meant to do something with photography.  i'm meant to use it.  like really strip it down and use it, use it.  for a greater purpose.

when i was growing up, i wanted to work at the spca, then be a vet, then no - a crisis intervention counsellor.  then i changed my mind again to teacher, solely because i wanted to teach our future generations compassion and to fight for change.  i've always, always known my career - the role i played in this world, would be an impactful (?) one.  

..iiiiii totally sound like a way too enthusiastic seven year old.. or maybe just a nut job.  ha, whatevs homes, i got faith!

i really have no idea where i'm going with this but i wanted to let anyone that ever has followed my progress that it ain't over, folks.. i exist! 

see?

meghan + mark / wedding / 03.30.11

this is an exciting post for oh so many reasons..

1.  yet again, i have not posted in years.  a bajillion years.  BOO me.

2.  the bride just happens to be my best friend.  yeeeup, meg has been my side kick since i was 5.  you may recognize her from past shoots, learning + playing with my camcam last year here +  here.

3.  i got to stand by my best friend's side as she got married to her soul mate.  

4.  this was my first time shooting wedding portraits (and simultaneously as moh)!

5.  oh, and did i mention, #3 + #4 occurred in a little place, called MEHICOOOO!!!

6.  aand finally, today is easter!

i have known and loved meghan forever.  in that forever, boys have been a constant part of our friendship.  we shared all our secret crushes, were always each other's wing-lady, ran to each other to cry when our hearts were broken, called each other in the middle of the night to share dirty deets, covered for each other when an accomplice was needed.

throughout it all, no matter the age, we dreamt of our future, one-day husbands.  we would discuss what their names would be, what they would look like, where we would live, how we'd get pregnant at the exact same time.  who knew we'd both be so incredibly lucky to find them and so soon?

i don't think any of our actual predictions have come true so far.. but reality is certainly better than anything we ever dreamt.  i remember our random camping trip to pebble beach about three years ago, meg.  getting lost, driving my parents' little toyota tercel through a stream, holding up a line of people behind us; unbeknownst to us - your future husband was one of them.  i remember the moment mark walked into our campsite that starry night by the lake, your eyes gazed at his from across the fire.  i knew you were a-swoonin'.  and later that night, i caught you canoodling (yes, i went there), sporting his hat.  you had him from that moment.

i really can't put together the words to express my love for you, both of you, meghan + mark.  it was an extraordinarily magical feeling to hear you, mark, announce to literally the entire beach, your love and complete devotion to someone that means so unmeasurably much to me.  meghan, you truly deserve this - mark and all the love he has to give - soo freaking much.

enough of my warm, squishy, love goop, hey?  here's some portrait imagery i captured of the hothotHOT bride + groom on their day at our mega-beautiful resort in MEHICOOO, the riu jalisco...

haha, meghan was afraid of ants on the trees and made mark check..