Oh, Yee of Little Faith

Something recently struck me.. A bolt of lightning.  Haha, pun.. not.  so.  funny.  Anyways, I'm a little, er, negative.  At least, compared to my husband who is 95% of the time a ray of sunshine and optimism (the other 5% he's comparable to the Cookie Monster).  Lately, we've been re-evaluating our dreams vs. our real lives.  Conclusion: our ideals and game plans are changing - dramatically.  It's sort of, kind of terrifying.  But I'm ecstatic.  I really, deeply feel that things will be great.  Even if they are the suck for a little while.

When I told these thoughts to Travis, he raised his right brow as he does when he's pretending to be Horatio Caine from CSI.  "You are optimistic?  How can this be?" he asked.  I laughed.  And then, I pondered.  He's bang on, actually.  I worry often.  I usually am too scared to be optimistic.  Then, epiphany - well, maybe epiphany is too bold of a word.  Let's go with 'big thought.'  When you think positively, positive things will surround you.. or at least you're so positive you think they will.  So even if you're just crazy and things are actually crap, being positive is sort of a win-win.

The thought was planted and an idea grew (ahh, Inception!  Ha.. okay well, my husband thinks I'm funny).. If I don't allow myself to worry, I am conquering fear, negativity.  My mind raced and I realized that we naturally look for discontentment.  There's always a thought that something is not as good as it could be, something is always the matter in some aspect of our lives.  These negative thoughts fester and rattle us and the way we live our lives.  Instead, if we believe that what's happening or what's going to happen, is the best thing for us, then it will be. 

I guess that's faith.  I always put faith in hand with religion but I think it's also for those of us that aren't 'religious' per say.  Faith is optimisim, positivity, blocking out fear and letting go of discontentment.

Woo.  That's a lotta brain power for one evening.

The pillow calls.
xo-

PS.  As I approach the first year anniversary of jumping into photography, I thought I would post an image from my first ever shoot.  There are a million technical things that I see wrong with the shot now, but that's okay because ultimately, I still love it.  And Caitlin is smokin.  Rawr.

PPS.  Did ya notice eh?  Eh?  Optimism, baby.   ;)

Jen 2

O Nature, I do not aspire
To be the highest in thy choir,

To be a meteor in thy sky,

Or comet that may range on high;

Only a zephyr that may blow

Among the reeds by the river low;

Give me thy most privy place

Where to run my airy race.

In some withdrawn, unpublic mead

Let me sigh upon a reed,

Or in the woods, with leafy din,

Whisper the still evening in:

Some still work give me to do,

Only be it near to you.

For I'd rather be thy child

And pupil in the forest wild,

Than be the king of men elsewhere,

And most sovereign slave of care;

To have one moment of thy dawn,

Than share the city's year forlorn.

-Henry David Thoreau

Chickenware!

Their sharp beaks scare me.  Their glaring, beady eyes scare me.  Their claws scare me.  Their loud 'bokbokboking' - you guessed it, scares me.  Yet, with sweaty palms and a nervous laugh, I find myself loving chickens.  I even.. want one?  Two, actually!

Travis doesn't understand this.  "How are you going to take care of your own pets if you are scared of them?" he asks me.  I don't even have to think about my response.  "Hunny, love has a way of conquering fear," I tell him.  And with confidence, I say it to you too.

Photography has brought about some of my biggest fears ie. battling my antisocial/hermit crab/shy/awkward tendencies, pushing myself to think outside traditional boxes, opening the doorway to judgement of my work (in progress) and maybe worse, judgement of me.  But - big BUT, my love of photography trumps all the anxieties that come with it.

Recently, I had a photo shoot that I was so especially afraid of.  It was my first photo shoot not knowing either my clients or subjects, it was for business use, it involved models experienced with professional photographers aaand I was still shooting with a lower grade camera + lens.  Talk about a ball of nerves.  Here comes another big BUT.. I had nothing to be worried about!   Because as I knew all along: the love will conquer the fear.  And it did, it soo did.  We all had a lot of laughs, I really learned a lot plus I made some great contacts and friends along the way.

Check out beauties, Caitlyn, Jennifer and Alexandra modeling for Chickenware's new website launch that the lovely sisters, Samantha & Amelia Ritchie have been working oh-so hard on (to be up and running soon)! 

http://www.chickenstew.com/