it all started

with me being a bored kid and randomly picking up my mom's globe.  spinning it 'round and 'round for entertainment (i sound like a lot of fun, don't i?), my dad couldn't help but notice.  i guess he took pity on me so he told me he'd give me a dime if i found helsinki.  i was 7 years old.  my allowance was $2 a week.  heck, i could really use that dime so i gave it a whirl (hah!  i love unintentional old man puns). after searching tirelessly, i found it.  so my dad gave me another place to find.  and another.  and another. 

quickly, this became a tradition between my dad and i.  eventually the money wore off, but we kept playing the globe game for years.  i remember in grade 4, i was writing a geography quiz in mrs. barr's class and there was a bonus question about naming other places not in north america.  i was so proud to be able to quickly recite papua new guinea, botswana and of course, helsinki.

so you'd think i'd be decent at geography.  you'd think i'd have like some grasp of locale.

truth is, when people ask me for directions on my own street, i'm tempted to say, "sorry, i don't live here."  hah.  and.. i might as well not.  i might as well not be from planet earth at ALL.  cos really, somehow, i don't know where ANYTHING of relevance is.

when people try to give me directions or for the sake of detail of a story - explain where something is situated, they're usually like, "y'know on the corner of blahblah and somethin'-somethin'?"  rest assured, i never ever know where they are talking about.  so, i tell them what i've rehearsed many times, "sorry no, i'm directionally challenged."  then most people try to help me out by explaining the directions in greater detail.  they're all, "well you know where blahblah is right?  you go east down there, go left, turn around, look up in the sky and then poof!  somethin'-somethin' street."  at this point, i usually just nod my head and respond with, "ooooh okay.." just so i can stop trying to understand a foreign language.

dad, you tried.  but maybe with your grandchildren, you should play the map game instead..