i exist!

i don't know that i even need to formally say this, as i think it's a little obvious by looking at the overall lifelessness of my blog - that i've been on and am on a "break."  the photo on my header isn't even my current hair colour.  speaking of which, i look 12 there.  i'm older, i swear.  but anyways, i am still taking pictures.  lots of 'em!   and often!  but i'm not at all focused on getting clients + muses, or editing or sharing.  trav and i have chosen to travel down a fun but exhausting road.  we are completely absorbing ourselves in renovations via our own blood, sweaty-sweat-sweat and tears (did i mention the sweat?).  all in the hopes of moving in the next few months.  and just to add a little extra spice, we also decided to adopt  a new dog, pickles, whom we welcomed into our family about 2 weeks ago.  i won't dive into her and her story just yet cos she really deserves her own post, but for now i'll tell you that she was an incredibly tormented homeless dog and her journey to recovery here with us is definitely a windy, bumpy road.

but not being "focused" on pursuing my dream of becoming a photographer has been.. i'm not even sure, to be honest.  sometimes i feel frustrated, like i'm lagging behind, i feel lazy or angry at myself for not making it all happen.  but travis keeps bringing me back when i get like that.  he reminds me that i'll spread myself thin and not be great at anything.

one thing.  at.  a.  time.

..the more and more i think about it, deep down, i know he's right because i know i will be a photographer.  there's really no doubt in my mind.  that's a crazy thought.  at least coming from me.  (i am the most doubtful, worrisome, unconfident, indecisive person you'll ever know.. i think.)  

but i just feel that i'm meant to do something with photography.  i'm meant to use it.  like really strip it down and use it, use it.  for a greater purpose.

when i was growing up, i wanted to work at the spca, then be a vet, then no - a crisis intervention counsellor.  then i changed my mind again to teacher, solely because i wanted to teach our future generations compassion and to fight for change.  i've always, always known my career - the role i played in this world, would be an impactful (?) one.  

..iiiiii totally sound like a way too enthusiastic seven year old.. or maybe just a nut job.  ha, whatevs homes, i got faith!

i really have no idea where i'm going with this but i wanted to let anyone that ever has followed my progress that it ain't over, folks.. i exist! 

see?