There's so much living we all want to do, plan to do. But there's also so much to do. And ya, realistically all those to-dos hinder or pause many of our big dreamy adventures. It's easy to get swept up in that fact and feel conquered.
But we're not at all conquered. The living don't have to stop.
I discovered that in just one hour I can do a whole lotta. In 60 minutes, I can wrestle with Travis (and lose), laugh with Meghan over the phone, play a few rounds of hide & seek with Slurpee and Soda, belt out a couple one-hit wonders while I sit-dance in the car, and have a thrilling gravity-defying, swinging tournament at the park (and win!).
Although having only just dipped my foot, the world of photography has been and is a journey I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to discover. Those moments when my camera is what physically separates myself from my client yet is what unites us in laughter of some unlikely conversation about UFOs; those moments when a job doesn't feel at all like a job. I'm so thankful to have had so many.
Lying in bed with my computer in my lap, right in the middle of editing an image full of passion and energy, I just stop. I take my hand off the mouse and rest it on Travis' arm. I don't know what's possessed me but I tell myself, just be still. The rain pours quickly and rhythmically, I can picture the trillions of drops exploding as they land on the concrete outside my window. The furnace broke and the house is cold but the heater is a blast beside me. It's one of those little fake "fireplace" ones. By only glancing at the flickering imposter flames out of the corner of my eye, I pretend that it's real. I bury my cold toes into Soda's warm belly as she is curled up on my feet, as close to me as she can be. Slurpee lets out one random loud snore. So loud, I almost laugh but quickly remember Travis sleeping beside me. I run my fingers on his warm skin. He is always so warm while I am always so cold.
It's too dark to really see anything besides my fingers a-glow typing in front of my face. Yet all the beauty in the world is right here in this rather blind moment. And I am so thankful for it.
On the way home from a gorg maternity shoot at Harrison beach with a gorg couple, the hubs and I decided to stop off at the Agassiz Museum, y'know cos we basically act like old people anyways. It. Was. Rad. Really, I loved it and am telling you to check it out.
Oddly, browsing the museum brought out the usually hidden consumer in me. I am a lover of all things old so seeing so much rad oldness (I make up words) made me want all the rad oldness. I seriously asked our volunteer tour guide if a particular trunk was for sale. He laughed. I sighed (and secretly contemplated how I could drag it out to the truck without anyone noticing). Dude, this trunk was owned by a man who was scheduled to take it with him aboard the Titanic's first voyage but at the last minute, his trip was rescheduled for the next week and he ended up living until he was 100. Can you say L-U-C-K-Y?! I need that trunk.
Anyways, immediately upon leaving, I looked at Trav and asked if we could hit up an antique store. He came up with a better idea.. the auction by our house. We actually go all the time just to window shop cos we are both lovers of the old and used. Again, today all we did is look but as I now write, I'm inspired to show off some of the items on my greed list. Some are the typical things everyone would expect from me (thee vintage) while some are new but still just plain awesome.
15 ThingsThat Make My Heart Flutter
A Kate MacDowell piece, any Kate MacDowell piece really, but especially this one.
Hand sculpted out of porcelain, her stunning art represents the union between man and nature - being one of friction with the disturbing implication that we too, are vulnerable to being victimized by our destructive practices.
Turqouise or lime green painted, vintage piano I've always dreamt of playing the piano someday. Soulful music + oldness + bold colour = LOVE.
David Berman's poetry
Mesmerizing story-telling verses from a rad indie singer/songwriter.
Slide stairs Just plain brilliant. Including for the grandmas and grandpas everywhere - instead of falling down the stairs, just slide on down.
Old glass bottles I picked up a couple from a thrift store two years ago because I thought they would make rad (and cheap!) vases. I was right. But they're also awesome alone as centre pieces in front of windows, filtering and dispersing the light into a room. Since my first couple, I've been given a million that were found in my grandma's attic, dug up at my parent's cabin, washed up at the river by my house. I'm loving my ever-growing collection and always looking for more.
Vintage button rings Lalalove myself a little hand decoration. I typically wear 5-6 rings on a given day so it's no surprise that I would love these rings made from old, stacked buttons.
Beaded doorway curtains Because Eric Cartman (Southpark) hates them, it took me awhile to admit that I'm a hippie. Alas, I am. So it's no wonder I wantwantwant these in my house and in my future VW van one day, ha.
Holga plastic camera I'm a lover of photography and I admire the open minds and creativity of children so a big fat YES to this one.
Woven brown belt I've switched from black to brown as my go-to neutral. This belt is just perfection with a dress, jeans, or over a cardigan.
Cardboard animal head Rebellion for those not into glamorizing the tragedy of death. Instead of using a corpse as a trophy, I choose this radtastic cut out. And love it!
A living room fort I know, right! Well, Travis doesn't because he thinks it's a lame idea. One day I tell you, we will have a living room fort and yes, it will have a chandelier.
Brass bed I used to sleep over all the time at my grandma's and always loved sleeping in the guest room. I loved the array of lanterns, family photos in eclectic frames, the beautiful porcelain jug, the way the rays of the sun streamed through the garden and into the window showering the room with light, the blue and white quilt but most of all, I loved Grandma's bed.
Koolaburra sandals I honestly tried to think these are wrong. I tried to hate this trend.. but really, I think if I had me some, I'd feel like Pocahontas and that must be very very right.
Geek glasses I still love my clear plastic glasses as well as my silver grandma glasses; however, I'm up for an eye exam and am pretty sure I will require a new prescription cos I've been McSquinty lately. Ohh, I want these or some version of.
Tar painting I so badly want to try the bold medium of tar. This piece of art to me is extraordinary, made by Kathy Smith using tar and feathers to represent remembrance of 1989's Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska.
Being an adult is work. And Travis and I are so goal-oriented I think we have enough aspirations for 20 people so that's a lotta work, a whole lotta lotta. My day planner fills up quickly with work, more work, renovations, dogs, appointments, and a sea of to-dos I consistently rewrite into other days. Honestly, can I please have two more hours in my day? Just two?!
Living always seems to be my last priority but I'm trying to keep that in check. Cos really, isn't living all we ever got? I want to/need to make more time. I want to volunteer again, dance again, go to the gym more, take workshops and focus on learning, shoot (for me) more, visit friends more, visit family more. I swear, somehow, someway, I will find those extra two hours.. okay, I'll even settle for one.
Spending some much needed time at Grandma and Grandpa Schulz's with little Elvis. Oh you know,
I'm addicted to Subway. The employees at 4 different Subways know who I am, and I know I carry that Subway odour with me. People have literally said to me, "You smell like Subway" so ya, I know. But, y'know if I have to be addicted to something, Subway beats caffeine and drugs so whatevaaa (as if I have to be addicted to something, right? Ha).
Back in my perfectly straightened hair, high heels everywhere I went, brace-face days, my two best friends, Meghan & Anne (hollllaaa!) would feed my addiction with many a trip to Subway. Commonly, they would call me disgusting as they watched in horror; sauce all over my face, meatball and pieces of cheddar cheese stuck and squished in my hot pink braces. It gets better.. I would proceed to clean my braces with like a mini-version of a toothbrush that would get in between the wire and my teeth to help get out the food. And I would do it front of my friends. In public. In a place where people go to eat (HAHA. Oh god, I'm ashamed). Anyways, the point in this wonderful story is that my friends made it very clear that I was a gross, little ferocious eater. So I very solemnly made a vow to myself and to them that I would never eat Subway in front of a boyfriend. And I never did.. until Travis.
We were only dating for a maybe a week when Travis wanted to go to Subway.. with me. I was all, "Hellsss no, you don't wanna go there. You can't go there." He insisted. I explained that I'm a nasty Subway eater (and note that I still had braces) and just no. Despite Travis' beliefs, I do not always win arguments. Subway is case and point. We went. I ate. Mustard got all over my chin, a chunk of lettuce stuck directly out of my braces - mind you, I did make an attempt to be more discreet with my new boyfriend that I was totally smitten with there than when I was around ol' Meghan and Anne (hahaha, suckers). But ultimately, Travis saw the hot mess that is I.
And I'm happy to say we are still together and I am still a Subway addict.
PS. Sorry, no picture today. Too exhausted (and now, rather hungry) to make an effort. So just pretend I posted something somewhat visually interesting. An image of a sub, perhaps?