dear travis

to my dear husband,

this is a love letter of sorts, for no real reason in particular.  i am writing this on a day that is not our dating anniversary, not our wedding anniversary, not valentine's day, your birthday, nothing.. today is nothing.  it's just a day.  well, that's not entirely true.  according to the radio on my drive into work this morning, today is now being called "blue monday."  this being the third monday of every january, statistically proven to be the saddest day of the year (for reasons of dark wet weather, credit card bill arrivals from christmas, the fact that it's a monday).  funny, because our wedding day, june 20th, was statistically proven to be the happiest day of the year.  and oh, it was!  but today isn't the saddest.  maybe i'll take that back when we pay bills tonight (ha!) but right now, i am anything but sad.

travis, i am so happy to have known you and to keep getting to know you.  i am so happy to have loved you and to keep getting to love you.  sometimes - no, all the time, i think you're crazy and i can't help but laugh at you and all your weirdness.  it makes me want you and need you all the more.  you are the utter epitome of everything i desire to be.  you are the reason i laugh, that i have any smidgen of hope, faith, grace.  i want you to know, to really really know, that you better me.

if we've learned anything together it's that although we are not the real masters of our lives, we can and will love each other beyond our years on this earth.  in this world, so many things just don't make sense, so many things are unfair.  i absolutely dread the day when we are gone physically from one another.  i pray to anyone and anything listening that that day is eons away, that you and i will grow to be 1,002 years old together and simply just fade into another life together.  i can't imagine a me without you.  just trying to, makes this the saddest day.  but no matter what happens to our existance, always know that i am with you.  that i have loved you since we were seniors at our high schools, since the very first moment i saw you, skateboarding in your backwards hat and white beater.  know that i will never stop loving you.  and above all, remember that you were made to make me better.

all my love,
ashley